…There shall be no more rapes now


I am so pleased to hear that there will be no rapes in Delhi starting today onwards. Yes! A notification given by Delhi Transport department clearly states that as they have black listed a cab service in Delhi on grounds that one of their cab drivers were involved in a rape case. Henceforth, from now onwards we will not hear any cases of sexual harassment or rapes in Delhi. This obviously has brought joy to all the Delhi female as they now have better things to focus on like – Who is the new girlfriend of their neighbor Sharma Ji’s son and how much is Gupta Ji spending on her daughter’s marriage.

 An overjoyed college girl from North Campus was heard saying that she will finally get some freedom and sense of security when she wears her hot pants and pink top while she takes a walk with her friends near Arts Faculty from today.

 On speaking to her personally she mentioned that she is elated for the fact that there will be no more “Randi” and “slut” words she will need to hear starting today as black listing the cab service has brought a radical change to our society and has also beefed up the security in city. She mentioned that her confidence is now much more visible as she is now SURE that I am not staring her legs right now and her cleavage also does not attract me anymore for a great reason that a cab service has been banned in our city.

 When I heard the news today my first reaction was: Really! Is this how you stop rapes and is this how you function in a democracy. For a minute and even now I feel that I am living in Iraq or Syria under the rule of an extremist group. The example set by our government is the most ridiculous in all possible senses. This is like if a school student is caught cheating at CBSE boards, they will go ahead and cancel the school’s affiliation that they didn’t they do a background check on student for the fact that he might be a serial offender.

 What happened in last incident is unfortunate and there is no logical – dress, noodles, burger and mobile reason justifying this act followed by NO scientific – man have a tool that they need to use, hormonal imbalance and ‘they are men’ reason that will prove that this incident was needed or supposed to happen this way.

 Like any other rape incident everybody is condemning and is demanding a strict action against the driver and much stronger rape laws in our country. The irony is that this time our government has turned creative and attempted to do something more ‘cool’ to dilute the issue as big as RAPE! Apart from my observation above that how I feel I am living under a group of extremists there is another side of this ‘black list the company’ incident.

 It is only me who smells a corporate and political nexus in this incident? We know that among all, Uber cabs have been doing very well in the business and have turned to be of great competition to many other cab services. How likely is that this is propaganda of another cab service in connection with a political link to get this company shut down in order to kill the competition to some extent?

 No, No, rape is not what I incline towards, but the black listing of the company. It is obviously visible that the decision to ban the company is unfair and is taken either in haste or out of some plan. I have not heard such things happening in past because if such was the case then in regards to 16th December rape case the government should have black listed the mall, the cinema hall and culture of moving out after 10 PM back then only. But that didn’t happen. Why not?

 If there would have been no mall and no cinema hall, the incident could have been avoided completely. Right?

 I also agree to the fact that yes, there must have been some miss on Uber’s end but how does it solve the problem? How does it stop rape? Let’s assume that Uber would have had GPS device in that car, or the driver’s verification was done too. Would this GPS be telling the system that ohm, I can sense some vibrations in the car or there is somebody shouting in the car? Or would the verification certificate be calling out loud at that silent Ridge road that – oh! look somebody is being raped?

 Yes, I understand that verification part is always important but why are we shadowing the main issue with these small things and trying to ignore the bone of contention – RAPES! Black listing the company means we have put the livelihood of hundreds of other drivers and their families on stake. Who is now going to get them two basic meals a day, who is now going to take their children to school now? Who is going to solve the mid-life crisis of many drivers who took car loans, who is going to pay their EMI’s now?

On the other hand, I saw that once again the rapist’s face was covered with a black cloth, would somebody care to answer why is that? Why was the face not shown to all, why does this practice of covering the face has to be followed by our police?

 Because if there is a law to protect the victim and the criminal then why the Uber cab’s name came in picture? Why didn’t they say “a cab service in Delhi” instead of “Uber cab service in Delhi”. Why in other case, Ms Basu’s pictures were shown all over the media and her identity was revealed and not of that businessman? Why in case of many call-center rape cases the name of the company is never disclosed? These are the questions that remain unanswered and might remain unanswered until our government is far more sensitive towards such issue. May our men understand that she is a woman. Not a piece of meat.

 

Thanks Priyanshi Gulati for proof reading.

Advertisements

Your Dreams are Mine now – a book review


Title: Your Dreams are Mine now

Author: Ravinder Singh

ISBN: 978-0-143-42300-3

 Publisher: Penguin Metro Reads

I have read all the works by Singh, his first “I too had a Love Story” as a work will always be his best in my eyes. It truly was an honest story of a man who loved and who lost love of his life. Back then, when the book was originally published the number of authors and number of stories were limited. The balloon of authors and fiction novel has been blowing too big since then. The number of authors we had back then were limited. Singh and Bhagat were very few who came with their initial books. Since then, the Indian writing space went through a big change. Self-publishing came in picture, there are more publishing houses than there are authors. The quality of stories has degraded only since then. Among them stand those few authors who were good back at that time and end up being good even today.

Having read Singh’s all three books (not counting the anthology) I was decently excited to read his fourth work. No questions that his last book had disappointed me to umpteen extent. Honestly, the only reason I choose to read their work even today is because somewhere or else I relate to them. I relate myself with these stories. I think they are among me. Yes, time and again I’ve been disappointed but just for the sake of supporting them I read their work.

Singh’s latest book – Your Dreams are Mine now is a story based in Delhi and more specifically University of Delhi. This is understandable because Singh now writes full time from his Delhi based house and it was a clever attempt on his part to take Delhi as the story backdrop. Though, his attempt failed miserably. I shall come back to his part later in the post.

The story is claimed to be an innocent love story based in dominant campus politics. It is about the two protagonists who fall in love and how they attempt to create their positive hold in DU campus followed by their rise and fall. The story is based in North Campus and a famous commerce college in North Campus that is made of red-bricks (that is how author describes the college). I would not dug deep in the story part as it would be unfair to the author and would strictly write about the novel and what I feel about it.

On the story: Well, I wish there was a story to this novel. The text in the novel seems to be an over stretched piece of two individual’s who were born in author’s mind. To worsen the whole thing, author actually! Added a summary of a major newsbreak from 2012. This obviously was not expected from Singh, this cannot be called plagiarism because the content was modified in terms of name, actual incident and few minor changes here and there whereas the context was EXACTLY what we read in news back then. If you end up reading this part of the novel, you will think that you just completed reading a summary report of the incident that happened back then. It is a shame that Singh would indulge in such malpractice. It is total 30 pages of text that seems to be copied from newspapers only. I wonder if Singh was short of ideas or wrote this book in too much of hurry that he felt the need to use an extended news report to complete his book.

On the backdrop: When you pick up a book that you know is based in your city you expect to find yourself so close to the book. You expect that may be you will read about places you have visited, places you were present at one time or another. May be your college, your “Adda” where you used to spend your whole day during college days and many other related things. This book fails miserably on backdrop part. It seems that the author only wrote this book siting in four walls of his house and didn’t even bother to do basic research before writing this book. Honestly, no one who will read this book can agree that author has lived in Delhi for years now. The kind of backdrop setting author has presented in the book can also be written by anyone who sits in Bangladesh or as a matter of fact Mars. There is no close link of Delhi with the story, just some random mention of “North Campus” “ Rashtrapati Bhawan” and “AIIMS”.

Being a part of North campus, I was expecting so much from the book but apart from some random mention of a commerce college I didn’t read ANYTHING in this book. It seems that Singh only knew that there is a North Campus and then there is a red-brick college there. More like he didn’t even gave North Campus a visit before taking it as the battle ground of his book.

On writing style: Simple and elegant is what Singh’s writing style is in this book. No difficult or out of the world language is used. I am sure he has kept all his readers in mind who might not be as proficient as others in queen’s language.

Another good part was that there were no explicit sex scenes in this book. Apart from some kiss scenes and another romantic conversation part there was nothing that can annoy a reader. It obviously has became a tradition that an author would add some steamy hot scenes to keep the reader’s interest going in the book. Thankfully, Singh nailed it there and didn’t create more mess of this book.

My Ratings: 2/5

Please, this review is more like a personal note on the book which I happen to share with you. I don’t say read this book or don’t read this book. It should absolutely be your call. If after reading the book you think I was unfair and the book deserved more then please do not hesitate to drop me a line in comments.

Thanks Priyanshi Gulati for proof reading.

The 16th December 2012 incident guy is NOT a hero.


So, here is another message that is flooded over Whats App and Facebook on friendship day’s eve. I received it on Whats App from quite a few friends and in groups but chose to ignore it initially. I thought that it is something nobody would trust or believe in and would be forgotten like other forwarded messages, but that didn’t happen. More people messaged me the same thing and many even posted on Facebook. Well, this was when I almost typed to one of the friends how I thought this message was ridiculous and makes no sense but then I thought that I should rather blog about this. Reading this message made me feel furious and I am strongly against what is being conveyed in this message. Copy-pasting the exact text from Facebook with some formatting changes. (Content remains same):

 

A year ago in-front of his eyes his girlfriend was brutally raped by six bastards in a running bus of Delhi. He fought till the time he was beaten blue with an iron rod. They broke his leg, robbed him, snatched his mobile & left him almost naked.  He fought till the time he could. Then on that chilling cold night he was thrown from the running bus along with his girl friend. They were naked, drained, exhausted & both were bleeding for different reasons.  He tried to stop passing cars & kept on begging for a piece of shawl to wrap his naked girl friend & finally he got it after 40 minutes. Then he took her to the hospital, admitted her, called the police, called her parents & did every possible co-operation that a true friend should do in the hour of need. He could have fled from the bus – he did not. He could have left her on the road – he did not. He could have claimed fame & money (as the father of Nirbhaya who took Rs 25 lakhs from UP CM,a job for his son & many more from many people in his daughter’s name ) – but he did not. He could have claimed his treatment money from Govt – he did not. He could have become the most frequently seen face in the electronic media in exchange of money – he did not.  If this is not friendship then what is friendship??  When the entire country roared for the girl no one thought what this boy had gone through that night. He is not a film star or a cricketer. He is Awindra Pratap Pandey a boy from Gorakshapur in UP, the boy who loved his girl from the core of his heart.  When this boy is there somewhere in anonymity, why we Indians should celebrate friendship day on 3rd August to copy others nations??  We should celebrate friendship day in India on 16th December to salute the spirit of Awindra who proved what friendship means. Let 16th Dec be an official friendship day in India.  Am I talking sense?? If yes then please share this & give your opinion here. Make this a right platform of social awareness!! This is a broadcast message. Frwd to all your Frnds

 

So what makes me furious after reading this message? In simple words: this text message is nothing but a cheap- cheap like raping someone – attempt to gain something. I will not call it publicity because this isn’t any kind of publicity.  First things first, the person who made up this message is nothing but a jerk, a jerk who possibly is also uneducated and is not aware of the actual incident that took place on that day. I will surely give the reasons to why I say this in coming part of the post.

Other thing is who might have actually written this message?  

I think who two individuals are responsible for such a message.  One- The guy himselfAwindra Pratap Pandey  

Second – Somebody who has extremists like opinions and ideology. Those people who go out on streets on Friendship and valentine day to create nuisance, disturb people and yes not to forget- vandalize public and private property. They are also those people who would forcefully shut down a shop and then open it again only to shut it down again, so that the news camera recording them has their best footage. They also approve the footage later on.

 

Whosoever wrote this message had no sense of idea what he was writing, the possibility is that somebody just edited the message and started sending it out to the people without realizing what blunder they were doing. Hence, this proves the jerk part I mentioned above.  

The message reads, “A year ago in-front of his eyes”

I read this message on August 2nd 2014 – a day prior to Friendship day. If you are probably reading the above mentioned message for the first time then you must be reading this on August 3rd 2014 or later.  The incident took place on an unfortunate day – December 16th 2012. So, in the most logical sense, this incident didn’t happen “a year ago”. At least, 1 year, 7 months and 18 days have passed since then. I wonder why the person who wrote this message didn’t realize this small little thing- another point that prove what a jerk he/she was.  

 

This also shows how much this person was aware of facts and figures of this incident; it didn’t matter to him when the incident happened. What was important for him was to pass on his extremist opinion about how the boy was hero and how friendship day should not be celebrated on August 3rd.  

 

Another part of message says “Then he took her to the hospital, admitted her, called the police,”  

 

Well, my dear friend who wrote this message. THIS guy didn’t take her to hospital, he didn’t admit her to hospital, and he didn’t call the police. It was a passing by car and person in that car who did three things – in same order as mentioned. Took both of them to hospital, admitted them and called the police. From the very first day of this incident I have blamed the boy for everything. It was he who was responsible for everything that happened. Not the rape, because rape is not something that happened because of him. He didn’t rape her. Rape happened because of some sick minded people who were drunk and were no more humans. They acted – animal like.

 But, Awindra Pratap Pandey is supposed to be blamed for everything that happened on that night before they were thrown out of the bus.  A wise man would never board a private bus with a girl. Period. Not even in most stupid sense this idea looks good, nobody in this universe will say that this step was right. The problem is not that you have taken your (girl) friend out for a movie at late night. That is fine but the problem is that you decided to board the bus that is suspicious in its first look already.  

Even back then, no auto walla in Delhi would have denied taking you guys anywhere. No matter what, all they would have done is charged you a little extra. They might have said upfront that we will charge extra Rs 200 – which I see should not have been an issue. Or even they might have said that we will drop you until one point and then you should manage at your own or may be take another auto.

 IF not this, then private cab business has been flowering well in Delhi since 2010. One call and the cabs picks you up from any part of the city and drops you like wise. I wonder why you didn’t use these options and decided to take that bus instead.

I will not be a hypocrite here and hide things I feel. I completely see a reason why you might have taken her in that bus, you might have already knew that this bus would be completely vacant and you might be successful in your mischiefs. Yes, even the girl might have been aware of your intentions and this might have been a mutual decision too, but I will still not blame the girl for anything. She got enough of what she never deserved. I would like her to stay in peace always- wherever she is.  

Your mistake was that being a man, you didn’t bother about that girl’s safety. I am not saying that we as men are of sole responsibility of taking care of it, but in general sense, we as men are expected to keep our women protected. Yes, I am ashamed to say that we are also the men who rape women.

Also, in most typical sense, we as men are expected to give our women a sense of protection- no feminist stuff here – women can protect themselves or how they too can fight for their rights.  I am not saying that women cannot protect themselves, but as men we should always be more concerned towards our women’s security than anything else. Not because the city is not safe but because we as men know it very well that there are other men around us who are looking for a slight opportunity to play “ I am not a good guy” role.

I certainly appreciate that you didn’t escape from the place of incident in terms of keeping yourself out of this whole incident. It was certainly brave of you and I do pat your back for that.  It is mentioned in the message above how you could have claimed for fame and money like her father did. Please give me an opportunity to answer that statement.  

You- Yes you Mr Awindra Pratap Pandey were the one who went to Zee News studios and gave a live interview. You not only demanded fame at that time but you also jeopardized the complete case. Do you realize that somebody could have even got you killed, as you were the only eyewitness in this case? No you didn’t realize and you continued to give news interviews, your audacity was that you didn’t even ask the news team to cover your face with black strip. Not because you were guilty of anything but because you were the only lead in that case.

 

I am not sure about demanding money part, I think you never did nor you were anyways liable to demand for any money- heck man, you were somewhere responsible for the whole mess and then demanding money on top of it would have been an epic failure.  On the part where it is mentioned “the father of Nirbhaya who took Rs 25 lakhs from UP CM, a job for his son & many more from many people in his daughter’s name”  Yes, he accepted that money and some land too from state government. So what’s the fuss about? Do we even realize what his loss was? His only daughter- his only daughter who was well educated – his only elder child – his only hope – his daughter for who he had to sell his land so that her education could be supported. No, the money could never bring his daughter back but that money must have been/is much helpful in terms of supporting the family- a family that was ripped apart after this incident. The money they got was not in exchange of their daughter.

They got the money so that they could at least survive. At least they could go back to their village and settle down- in grief of their only daughter.

 In the next part of the message there is a contradictory statement  

If this is not friendship then what is friendship?”  

So, within a message, the love he had for a girl turned to be mere friendship- what and why this drastic change?  The boy never admitted in public that she was his girlfriend or they loved each other, he only mentioned that they were good friends. I am wondering what did he do that he didn’t deserve anonymity and he should have been a pubic face. Of course, there all the reasons for him to stay silent and not reveal his identity- which he eventually did after he gave interviews to Zee News and Aaj Tak. Revealing his identity only means that more and more people must have got to know about the real identity of the girl. His friend must have known the girl as his friend and as it is being claimed about being girlfriend, more people close to this man would have recognized who actually she was.  

What is so amazing that Awindra Pratap Pandey did that we should consider 16th December as Friendship day of India?

What he did on that day was shameful- he didn’t bother about her female friend’s security – he possibly for some reasons didn’t call for a private cab. He possibly because of some mean intentions took the girl into a private bus.  

Spreading these kind of messages is not only polluting our society but is affecting the overall thought process too of our youth. I feel so obnoxious that there are humans – read again humans who are enough educated sharing these messages without even giving a thought about what they are sharing and what exactly is the meaning. Out of seven people who sent me this same message along with three status updates on my Facebook news feed wasn’t there ANYONE who bothered to question how it is “one year…” how “ it was not this guy, but somebody else who called the police” how “ that money was not in exchange of their dead daughter” how the guy did get his piece of cake in terms of gaining fame after he first appeared on Zee news? I sincerely see no reason to salute this man, but do I have enough reasons to salute this girl who died, this family who is surviving on those 25 lakh, that brother who is now into a job because of his dead sister. I certainly do. I certainly and most humbly do salute these people.  

They are living under the pain of their dead daughter every moment. The money did give them enough to survive but every time this family would sit down to have their dinner; they would be thinking that their daughter had to die so that they could eat in peace. Every time her brother would go to his office – he would be living under the pressure that his sister had to die so that he could earn a living.  

Also, one part of the message mentions that how he was taking care of her girlfriend and the other part says how he was being a true friend to her. I am confused, because if the girlfriend part is more true then shouldn’t this message have came around Valentine’s Day? Makes more sense right?  

 

P.S.: My absolute condolence remains with the family of the girl, their loss is unimaginable and I will always pray for the girl’s soul and her family. I also extend my support to the guy as well. It was unfortunate that he was around when everything happened. No matter, how right or wrong I might say he is, there will always be a sense of guilt in his mind through out his life.  

 

Thanks Priyanshi Gulati for proof reading.

Related articles: http://indiawires.com/17991/news/national/nirbhayas-father-given-rs-15-lakh-as-a-compensation-by-delhi-cm/   http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Akhilesh-gives-Rs-20-lakh-to-Nirbhayas-family/articleshow/17991148.cms   http://daily.bhaskar.com/article/DEL-delhi-gangrape-victim-was-a-pivot-of-hope-parents-had-sold-their-only-piece-of-l-4371170-NOR.html   http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/04/delhi-gang-rape-victim-boyfriend_n_2410207.html   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scQQtbgBDcM    

Epic Journey called Bloggers meet #JodeyDilonKo


Life is anyway awesome, blogging makes it super-awesome and IndiBlogger meets make it epic. The bloggers meet at Delhi on Saturday went amazing. We were at the meet to talk about a new channel that is going to launch today at 8 PM. The channel brings the actors and shows from Pakistan to India.  Till now, Pakistan was able to see almost all the Indian shows in their land but India never really could see their shows here in India. This channel is a joint effort of both the countries creative minds and many shows based in Pakistan will now be shown in India. The AV’s that we saw at the meet which is also available on Youtube looks promising.

I blog at adityabhasin.com

I blog at adityabhasin.com

The lady who saved Delhi men :)

The lady who saved Delhi men 🙂

The team from Zindagi channel talked well in stretch about the channel and the show. The main lead also answered all the questions that bloggers from Delhi and Mumbai had. Yes, yes, he was trying his best to avoid giving any sentimental or political statement. It’s OK, he is an actor – he is not meant to speak anything controversial.

Every exited man ! Yeah, that guy in black Tee

Every exited man ! Yeah, that guy in black Tee

And now that is what we call passion

And now that is what we call passion

The BIG and EPIC blogger family

The BIG and EPIC blogger family

Undoubtedly the best part of this meet was # IndiMayhem – an open forum over a video link between Mumbai and Delhi. The fight was whose better; Mumbai or Delhi? Well, no matter what Mumbai bloggers claim, it was Delhi who won the title; hands down.

Among many things that Mumbai tried to win over, they happen to lose in almost all the points.   Transport… Delhi took the lead Food… Delhi took the lead Weather… Delhi took the lead Men… Delhi took the lead   Here are the few “Let’s defend Delhi” lines that helped us win over Mumbai:

Delhi gave SRK and Akshay Kumar to Mumbai

Delhi men are hot, rich and classy If Mumbai has pani puri, then Delhi has Vodka Gol Gappas

We have Kulce-Cholle wala just Outside Taj.. Do you?

Anoop, look at your face and see how you are sweating. I mean even the five starts does not have good weather control. Imagine what happens to the city.

Why do you have to romanticize everything? I mean they were floods, why bring the marriage into it. Our metro is always before schedule and yours was late at the very first day of inauguration.

In the end the meet was not just about a new channel but bringing the creative geniuses of both the countries together. I am sure the shows would be absolutely brilliant and would surely be loved by everyone here in India.  I am surely looking forward to watch some of the episodes over this weekend.

Yes, they are already on record mode on my TV. 🙂 Meet was also exceptionally well in terms of letting Mumbai and Delhi talk it out. I think it was necessary because sometime you just need a platform to speak up what you think and what you believe in.  Once in a blue moon it is absolutely decent to ‘fight it out’ and especially when this is only out of pure fun and with no offense to anybody’s personal opinion or out of any hatred towards any city- Mumbai in this case.

Over the lunch and tea at the meet all the bloggers and authors talked about things interested them with their fellow bloggers. I am among them who were talking how these IndiMeets can be made awesome and how good the idea of video link between Mumbai and Delhi was. We also talked about what kind of trouble self-published authors face. Well, I’ll keep this for another post.

I must not miss the opportunity to say a word of thanks to Technology team in both the cities. It was these guys because of which the web link worked like a charm. Yes, there were hiccups but they moved forward well.

One thing I am disappointed about is the photos, arrrrrr, I hate to say this but Delhi meet hardly got any pictures, whereas Mumbai got a good number on their end. Swati, we need you back in Delhi. ASAP. First flight. Please. 🙂

P.S. Mumbai folks, trust me we had/have nothing wrong against you. You guys are just as awesome as anybody else can be but you know when it comes to defending your city everybody gets a bit loud and over the top. Trust us; we are no racists’ people. We Love you and I am sure you love us too. If there is any *little* thing I said wrong then I am sorry. Trust me, you are an amazing Blogger brother and sister (read women) and I have nothing against you personally.

Here is how you can stalk me on Facebook and Twitter 

Link to IndiMeet

…The Last Letter


It has been more than 14 months that we “mutually” broke up. A relationship that was supposed to last for a life time ended precipitately. In this letter I am not going to talk about why we broke up or why we should be back together. I am only writing this to blur out my frustration, to talk about what has been there in my mind all through these 14 months. I will try my best to keep this as short as possible, excuse me if I end up going too far in writing this but believe me I am not going to write anything from your prospective or how you “Feel” or how you “should” feel about this whole “let’s-end-this-relationship” thing. I will keep this strictly to me. How I feel. I will make sure I make no judgments on you. What you do is your part. What I shall write today is my part. So let’s not complicate things. I shall not say anything about you, and you must not say anything to me for writing this piece of crap.
Life has been an awesome disaster over the last 420 days – see, even the numbers are speaking sarcasm today. What I always wished over years was served to me in a plate but what I wanted to cherish for a lifetime was taken away from me – you. Well, God has its own way of mending things, maybe this whole incident was among one of them. Fuck. God. Why did you do that to me?

Anyway, life has been pretty fucked up and beautiful till now, since you left. There is so much that happened that I cannot paraphrase here.

The sad part is that no matter why may happen, it makes me think of you only. The promotion I had. Well, that was something I was longing for, but you were not there. I wanted you to be a part of that moment but that never happened. Over this whole period no matter what happened I was trying to find you around, I wanted you to listen to me, I wanted to tell you how good or bad I feel. I wanted you to be happy for what I have achieved. Appreciate me for what I did and what I did not. But, no you were not there.

On my birthday I got a car. Yes, something we had always thought of. Something I wanted to buy only for you. Something I was supposed to buy in March-April but delayed the plans because of our “mutual” breakup. Even today when I drive my car I think of you, there are so many memories we wanted to build around our car. Those planned long drives, those trips we wanted to go on and everything else. Well, nothing happened of that sought. Even today when I drive on your house stretch I feel shattered. Your memories start to haunt me; quite literally. I have lost the count of how many times I have stopped at that metro station and just sink in my emotions.
The sad part of our story is that we had spent too much time already, more than car, more than job, there are so many much bigger and important things that we built around us. Nothing is going to come true. At least if I believe in what you say. The sad part is that though we broke up , I still do not see the reason why we should not be coming back together. Why, we just cannot make a fresh start. Why is that no matter how hard I try, you don’t’ feel those emotions for me again. What has happened is obviously the thing of past now, nobody has power to change it. What power I have in my hand is what I am not exercising yet- move on.

I think it’s time I let you go. And that’s so hard to do because some part of me will be in love with you for the rest of my life. But the daydreaming, the running in place, it’s not healthy. So this is me, cutting the cord. This is me doing what I should have done months ago: saying goodbye.
— Unknown

 

I am destructively annoyed and freaked out. I am obsessive now. I do not know if I should be blaming you, not sure if you are wrong or I am. But whatever be it I am on the verge of explosion. Saturation point as you say.

Few things that this whole phase has made me understand are three of my life’s biggest mistakes. Mistakes, that I might regret through out my life.

Loving unconditionally.

What did I get to love unconditionally? I was the guy who wanted to fall in love with one girl and that is it. I was settled for life. But, then destiny had more plans for me. They made me go through THIS. I am somebody who hardly keeps any regret but this thing makes me regret my decisions now and might force me to regret more in future. Good are those people who fall in love. It was my mistake that I decided to walk with you in love instead.

Keeping a blindfold to love been given to me.

When you left me, I had “all the world love” been given to me. Yes, all love. SHE- who happened to be my best friend love me for years, but she was never a choice because you were there. After you left, it was SHE who listens to me, who cried along with me, who guided me, who supported me. And trust me there was not even once that she asked me to not to go back to you. She always suggested me on how I could win you back. It was after almost a year that she started being cold towards you. She says that you took too much of my happiness away and she doesn’t like that. Well, obviously she was right. She had a point. I was and I am doing wrong by waiting for you even now. She is still a best friend, she will be forever.

And then there is another she. You know who I am talking about. Well, she was the one I happen to start liking but I never took things forward with her. I was way too engrossed in your memories. I kept asking her for more time to get over you but then she had her “saturation point” too. I did not wanted to give her false hope so I told that nothing can be there between us. She understood and told me that I was doing wrong to myself.

…Not moving on
I have no sense of idea why I have not moved on yet? Loving you is one reason but what else? I know you do not love me anymore. I know you have made clear that you are not coming back then what is stopping me? I feel terrified by the mere thought that you are not around. I have tried as much as possible to get over you, yet I fail. Again and again.

You remember that Landsdowne trip I went to this month? That trip was nothing but an attempt to run away from so many people. Run away from you. Run away from my room. Run away from my dairy. Run away from my cupboard locker. That was just an attempt to run away from myself. Everything around me, within me, does nothing but haunts me with your memories. I went there because I wanted to stand among those hills and scream. Scream like nobody ever did before. I simply wanted to cry like nobody did before. Unfortunately, the attempt failed. The company I was with did not give an opportunity to succeed in my plans, well, they were way too awesome. They just did not let me think about anything else but “some good time” there. Yes, I did miss you but I did not scream or cry. I wanted it badly, as they say, that sometimes you have to let things go. This trip was another millionth attempt to forget you and to move on and start living in present. Unwillingly, I think I still stand at same place where I started from. I haven’t yet stopped thinking about you.
What I miss most is that, I have stopped reading. Yes, I who used to read books day-in, day-out has stopped reading. I have stopped writing ! Apart from those personal notes I scribe all the time. I stopped blogging ! Something that was my piece of soul. Something I cherish most after you. Imagine, this happens to be the first blog in past ninety-days.

When I write this letter today, I still love you like I always used to but the thing is till when? I do not see you come back. What I am doing to myself is not acceptable. It is not acceptable to my mom; she is so annoyed on seeing me like this. It is not acceptable to my friends- few that I have. It is not acceptable to her; yes, her – my best friend. In a nutshell it is not acceptable to me. What did I do that I have to go through this? No, I am not blaming you yet. I do not see a reason to blame you. I am only writing what I am feeling. I know its me who is responsible for this situation that I have made of myself. I am happy for where you are, what you are doing. I am happy that you are happy. But, I am not happy of what I am making myself go through. Trust me, I do not deserve this.

Thanks Priyanshi Gulati for proof reading.

Dear boys. Learn to be a gentleman.


When I was in second year of my graduation, somebody messaged me from an unknown number and started talking in bit of a flirtatious manner. My responses to her messages were brief or even one word, as I was least bothered to keep that conversation going, but she was keen on keeping that conversation going and kept pinging me. She was telling me on messages how she likes me and would want to be a friend. I simply said no as I had no interest in that blind offer. Because the conversation started late in evening and it was around 10 PM already, so I went ahead to message her “I think we should end this conversation as clock is ticking 10 and I usually prefer not to talk after that”. 

I later found out that she was a college friend messaging me from a different number. That girl is a great friend today and now tells me that she was only pulling my leg. She, of course, continues to make fun of my 10 PM logic. But I was that way years back. I used to maintain a decorum speaking to anybody and I continue to stay that way. Yes, 10 PM logic is now a forgotten thing, but I continue to maintain and follow a set of personally made rules.

My point of writing this blog post is to talk about few insensible things boys tend to do and end up showing themselves as nothing, but nincompoop.

Being a man myself, I would not disagree when women say that some boys are so sick, they talk so insensibly, they try to hit on you for no reasons and yes, they do not leave any stone unturned to strike an opportunity. Usually these boys would be ones who message saying that “Hey I am your neighbor” , “Hey We studied together”, “I think we will make good friends” , ” I am friend to your best friend’s sister” and what NOT !

Many of my female friends would tell me how they were contacted by some guy who claimed to be this and claimed to be that and wanted to strike a conversation one or the other way, these things, they tell me only take place on phone or Facebook. In their opinion, these are the guys who would not have guts to walk up to them and talk on face. One such incident was shared by a friend of mine which then provoked me to write this blog post.

She told me that somebody pinged her on WhatsApp saying that her profile picture was very nice and he attempted to talk to her more about some random stuff. She mentioned that of course, his messages were funny as he attempted to be an amazingly awesome and cool guy.

She said that she eventually went ahead and blocked him.

OnealtAma4hItJ8RSMaJBbYuKjNcsSAVNsixy0O3h4fzKOCZ7paltAgQCPa9XXr856ZfkXpKiZJ8KoAdXp5oOO3yD535BHrE2 altAhIKCiBJJ2YWPMXeYGNzgoSwaOgmmfauqk6oJke6J2c8altAjqRYpta7mixILlDksnGED3ALEw7yPkvAlFwpovVcMM_altAgsYa_ePz2xWLRCxbbJtptc1mXAk12kFfnCQj97TP4Uj

The other incident is from a story I read in a newspaper. A guy hit the girl with a bottle on her face because she denied giving him her number. News report said that he first tried to injure her using a knife and when failed, hit her with beer bottle.

So my dear boys, what makes you do these kinds of silly, or rather say, ridiculous things? Healthy flirting is acceptable and proves to be healthy. Really. But, what you do is not sensible and is obviously harmful for all man out there. Imagine when these kinds of things make all the women turn misandrists.

I would not bring that What-if-this-happens-to-your-sister-stuff here. That’s not worth an example to quote but what I will surely say is that these kinds of acts are not taking you anywhere. Getting laid- which is your ultimate goal is far, very far sighted.

Also, what makes you look more ridiculous is the fact no woman would ever like your silly behavior towards them. Your idea of thinking that they are dumb to fall in your trap of how beautiful their profile picture looks or how compatible you think *you-guys* together will be, (In your first stalking attempt itself) would result in nothing but more hatred towards you.

One more important thing which is worth a thought here is : what actually makes you do these things?

Don’t tell me that this is an attempt to be more social. Because, at the end of the day it is NOT. Stalking girls in any manner will never increase your social circle or your standing among your male friends – * tere bhai ki 17 girlfriends hain!*.

It will only do the opposite. Think of one good female friend you have. You talk. You chat. You dance. You study. You travel. Together. And one sudden day, she finds our your brave acts of stalking women on Facebook , Whats App and other platforms. What would be her impression towards you? You will not only fail to * gain* a female friend in that stalking attempt but also loose a good friend you had.

She obviously would be smart enough to let others know what kind of attitude you have towards women.

So in totality it will be a big fail on your part.

We, as men, should understand that she is a woman. Yes, she likes to be complimented. She likes that her beauty is appreciated. She likes to be a center of attention, but isn’t that the same thing we, as men, seek? Don’t you like to receive compliments from other people? Don’t you like it, when in a party, everybody tells you how awesome your pointed-shiny-black-shoes-with-that-red tie- white shirt-black trousers-look? Of course, you enjoy that attention.

But there is a way how you pass that compliment to someone. Obviously, stalking is not one of them.

I personally believe that one should never hesitate to appreciate beauty. One should always be straight forward to walk up to a woman and tell her how beautiful she looks or how mesmerizing her smile is. But the only freaking reason why we cannot do this or if we do, why woman don’t appreciate that and think of us as perverts is us.

It is we the men who have earned that reputation of being perverts. The day we stop being stalkers, stop being fussy, stop being clumsy about women, is the day when women would stop treating us the way they do.

Take my words, no woman is bad or witch like. She is a normal individual, who likes to be social and is part of our society. She does not have an issue talking to a man who compliments her or does not compliment her. But yes, she has some big issues with men trying to fool her or take undue advantage of her.

Thanks Priyanshi Gulati for proof reading.

Nokia! It’s high time you get your acts correct


Update: February 24th 2013 : 1630 HRS – Day 26th at service center

So I started my day speaking to Nokia care line today. Raja told me that the phone WAS ALREADY delivered to service center on February 19th, upon referring to him that I had a conversation with Ahmed yesterday who told me that it will take another 4 days for them to deliver the phone to Noida center he asked me to put the call on hold. I said sure.

@NokiaHelps #Nokia #Lumia1320 : Still on call with Raja at 91(11) 30303838. He had put me on hold. Let’s see what does he come back with

— Aditya Bhasin (@meadityabhasin) February 24, 2014

When he came back he said that the phone will be delivered at the service center today. I said OK, let see what happens even today.

@NokiaHelps #Nokia #Lumia1320 : Raja tells me that I will be getting the phone today. He assure me for same. #LetsSee

— Aditya Bhasin (@meadityabhasin) February 24, 2014

The conversation with Nokia careline is obviously useless they have no sense of idea what they are talking and does not seem to have any updated information even. Raja told me that Sandeep was supposed to call me on 17th Feb. That NEVER happened.

In regards to the email I am sending them I am getting nothing but template emails in revert. Here goes last few emails :

Date: Sun, 23 Feb 2014 07:02:29 +0200
> From: contactcentre.india@nokia.com
> Subject: The Service Request Number is 1-14959033252 [SR# 1-14959033252]
> To: aditya.bhasin@hotmail.com
> 
> Dear Aditya,
> 
> 
> Thank you for e-mailing Nokia Care. The Service Request Number is 1-14959033252
> 
> This e-mail is in reference to the repair concern with your Nokia Lumia 1320. I sincerely regret the inconvenience caused.
> 
> In response to your email, I would like to inform you that the case has been again forwarded to the concerned department and one of our representatives will be contacting you at the earliest.
> 
> 
> Thanks & Regards,
> 
> Aniket Singh
> Nokia Care Representative
> India

From: aditya.bhasin@hotmail.com
Sent: 23/02/2014 11:27:48 AM
To: "contactcentre.india@nokia.com" <contactcentre.india@nokia.com>
Subject: RE: The Service Request Number is 1-14959033252 [SR# 1-14959033252]

Please for God's sake tell me something new, may be a new email template? 

> Date: Mon, 24 Feb 2014 10:59:45 +0200
> From: contactcentre.india@nokia.com
> Subject: The Service Request Number is 1-14959033252 [SR# 1-14959033252]
> To: aditya.bhasin@hotmail.com
> 
> Dear Aditya,
> 
> Thank you for e-mailing Nokia Care. The Service Request Number is 1-14959033252
> 
> This e-mail is in reference to know the complaint status of your Nokia Lumia 1320. I regret for the inconvenience caused to you.
> 
> In response to your email, I do apologize for the delay. Further, the case has been already forwarded to the concern department and any update in this regard same will be communicated to you. 
> 
> Thanks & Regards,
> 
> Sahil Sharma
> Nokia Care Representative
> India
> 
> [THREAD ID:1-6VE6MZW]
> *--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*

 

The audacity of Nokia does not end here. Folks at Social@nokia.com and Press.services@nokia.com  are not even acknowledging my emails.

 

Update: February 23rd 2013 : 11: 55 AM

I just spoke to Ahmed on Nokia care line phone no : 91(11) 30303838. He is now telling me that the phone will take another 3-4 days to be delivered to Service center.

Upon asking about which factory center phone was repaired – Bangalore or Dharuhera he said that he does not have that information. I said OK. Even if it is Bangalore then is at a Nokia Manager who is running a Marathon to deliver my phone to Delhi and has taken seven days and would take another four days?

I even gave Nokia an offer that let me go to Dharuhera- if phone is there and collect it myself.

I am wondering what they are doing, on Monday, they called me that they will be delivering the phone at service center by Friday and today they are telling me that it will take another 3-4 days?

Update : February 23rd 2013

11:27AM

-Day 25th at service center.

So, I just received a response from Nokia to my last email. It is THE SAME TEMPLATE EMAIL THAT I HAVE BEEN GETTING SINCE FEBRUARY 1ST. Just THE same.

“Dear Aditya,

Thank you for e-mailing Nokia Care. The Service Request Number is 1-14959033252

This e-mail is in reference to the repair concern with your Nokia Lumia 1320. I sincerely regret the inconvenience caused.

In response to your email, I would like to inform you that the case has been again forwarded to the concerned department and one of our representatives will be contacting you at the earliest.

Thanks & Regards,

Aniket Singh
Nokia Care Representative
India”

Update : February 22th

So today is the 24th day that my phone is with Nokia care. On Monday, I got a call from Nokia care line that my phone is now repaired. *sigh* and they said that it will be soon sent to service center and I can then collect it from there. I said OKAY.

On Tuesday I got a call from Nokia Noida center owner telling me that the phone is repaired and you will be getting it by this week. I said OKAY.

Since Monday till today it’s the sixth day and I am yet to get my phone back. I’ve been told that it has been couriered from factory repair center. So now that we know that Nokia care sucks, we also know that the kind of courier service they use sucks even more. It is taking them more than six days to deliver a phone – that too within the City region?

I am not sure what it will take Nokia to give me my phone back, I am already pissed off and they continue to deliver things in a way that it is doing nothing but frustrating me more.

________________________________________________

So it all started on January 20th when I decided to switch to Nokia phone- Lumia 1320. It was just out in market phone and I obviously liked it for amazing Windows UI. But, my happiness for the new phone did not last long. On January 29th my phone’s screen broke into pieces. I was obviously sad but I had no choice left but to get it fixed at Nokia service center (Kingsway Camp). I went ahead to submit my phone there on Jan 30th and was told that it will cost me RS 12000 for the screen and they confirmed me that there are no other issues in my phone and everything else is fine.

They told me that it will take up to ten days for them to replace the screen, yeah! Ten days – just to replace a broken screen that too when the customer is not paying any pity amount but a hefty amount of RS 12000! But, anyways I had no choice. Some five days later I got a call from Kingsway camp service center telling me that it will take more than ten days, that pissed me off obviously and I said I don’t care how you guys fix it but I need my phone back within time frame told to me earlier and disconnected the call.

By now I had already emailed Nokia care about my concerns. Here is an extract:

I have a question here, what takes Nokia to ask me for whooping ten days just to replace a glass mirror on my phone? Also, the amount that is been told to me that will be charged is unacceptable. RS 12000 just for the screen? I mean the phone itself cost RS 24000 in market but anyways, that is actually not my concern. I will eventually pay RS 12000 for screen, but, the main purpose of me to write this email is to draw your attention towards the quality of part that you will use in my phone. Also, please see if the time frame can be reduced to some extent. Ten days are way too much in all regards.”

I then had a call from Nikhil on February 4th who claimed to be from Nokia Gurgaon office and he told me that I can go to Nokia Care in Noida as they have the screen available and they will fix it for me in 45 minutes. I agreed.

At that very moment I went to Kingsway camp and collected my phone in WORKING CONDITION and was able to make calls after charging my phone for some ten minutes. Next day I submitted my phone at Noida center that replaced the screen for me and charged me RS 9700. I have no idea what Noida center did or not did but my phone never started after that.

Noida center came to a conclusion that the battery is not holding charge and they need to send it to factory center for repair and would take 7-10 days.  Already pissed off I said OK, let me submit it to a Nokia care center near my house as I cannot travel to Noida every now and then. This happened on Feb 5th.

On Feb 7th I took my phone to Kohat Enclave center that refused to accept my phone stating that I should take my phone back to Noida center. Frustrated I did that! And since then my phone is with Noida center and I was told that it will be sent to factory.

On 12th February I got a call from Nokia again saying that they know that I am unhappy about how much time it will take for them to replace the damaged screen! Imagine this situation now; Nokia is not even updated about my issue status. Sick. And then I got another call from Noida center telling me that they might need time until Feb 23rd to repair my phone.

I am still wondering what Nokia is up to? And what the hell they are seeking from me? And on top of that the email communication that I had with Nokia results in nothing but a “template” reverts every time. No matter how many emails I write them they revert me with this always:

Dear Aditya,

Thank you for e-mailing Nokia Care. The Service Request Number is 1-14959033252.

This e-mail is in reference to the repair concern with your Nokia Lumia 1320. I regret for the inconvenience caused to you.

In response to your email,  I would like to inform you that the case has been forwarded to the concerned department. Our representative will contact you in the next 48 hours.

I have been communicating with them since Saturday, February 01, 2014 11:25 AM and since then I have only got two personal calls from their team unlike they state me in every email that they will call in next 48 hrs.

The service support sucks like anything; even Nokia itself is not sure who all are part of their service network. Here is an example

Fullscreen capture 2152014 23232 AM.bmp

At Noida center and at Kingsway camp center I found a board displaying all the service centers. Here I found two nearby centers to my house: Chaitanya Communications Address: 920-922, Clock Tower, Subzi Mandi 110007, Delhi, Delhi, India Phone: +919899012111 (Nokia board and website)

And another one : Ashok Vihar center #found at Nokia care center display board) : 9811461477 Ashok Vihar Phase III.

I was told by Shivam/Sachin that Chaitany communication is now closed. Though, the website still shows their name under repair center list. When I attempt to call at this center it is found to be switched of.

When I attempted to call Ashok Vihar center on their phone number, they choose not to attend calls. I tried 5-7 times but failed to make any human contact.

In my one of the emails I demanded them that they should give me a replacement device as if there can be  issues with phone battery within first 15 days then what happens in coming times, to that they have denied saying that they cannot do it as it is not their policy. I am wondering if making quality product is also not their policy and yes after sales support too.

It was because of delays on Nokia’s end that I had to buy another phone with basic smart phone features so that I can somehow survive this crises this obviously was because Nokia Noida center had no Windows phone to provide me as standby and were giving me a Symbian phone as standby which I decided not to accept as I didn’t see a reason to opt for a phone that is not worth anything.

Till now I have been very diligent with Nokia in this regard but now things are turning ugly. I am losing on my productivity, time, money and patience. Nokia on the other hand seem to have a blindfold in regards to everything are good at nothing else than sending template emails.