An Open Letter to Late Jiah Khan


Wherever you might be,

You were among those rare drop-head faces. You were an actor. You were successful . OK lets be reasonable, soon to be successful. You were young. Yet you choose to take a step which was abominable. Everybody goes through vexatious time, but, does everybody decide to kill thyself? I think NO. To put across my take in a better way I would go ahead and divide this letter in two sections- before suicide, after suicide. One thing common among both the sections would be ‘The Letter You Wrote’ as stated by your family. Though, I think that this is a different story and I doubt your family’s intentions when they say ‘you’ wrote that letter; especially, when it came out after so many days. But, I think that is OK, even for me writing an epic blog post does take time.

 You were young yet sad, thus, you killed yourself.

As per your letter I am assuming that you and Sooraj were in a relationship. If not a relationship, maybe you guys were friends, close friends, or may have be into a sexual relationship as well. That is OK. No issues on that part. So where was the problem? You enjoyed being with him and vice-verse. A lot of time you guys may have made love. Again no issues. Absolutely OK. One time it went wrong, you became pregnant. He may have asked you to abort the child; maybe it was wrong on his part. If he had guts to dip the fork into the cake, he should have had balls to take care of the pudding too. 😉

Though I wonder if you had no sense of how to use contraception or how condoms are readily available in market these days; yeah female condoms too. And moreover if I assume that he may not have asked you to abort the child, would you really have stepped ahead to give birth to the baby? I don’t think so. If you would have then I think you would have been a bigger fool than what your suicide has made out of you. It is obviously something what wonders me that how come a 22 yr just college pass out guy can pass on you like this? I am sure there had been a spark from both the ends. You know like those fairy-tale stories of Bollywood- an actor sees an upcoming actor in a party. They talk, they meet, they are then good friends, and they end into a live in relationship kind of thing.

In your letter you wrote “Yet you tortured me every day.” What do you mean by that? Were you a slave to him? OR did he kept you under a lock all the time or do you want to say that he was such an animal that he even put a chastity lock on you? Saying that he put you through mysterious affliction is something very foolish on your part. How come just anybody who is also just another actor’s son can dominate you? You were 25; mature enough. And don’t give me the crap that you were all in love with him. You may have been but, I am sure that you cannot be such a fool that you don’t know what is into a man’s mind. I don’t say that Sooraj was not wrong maybe he was but were you all right on your part? I see a difficult yes here.

“It didn’t matter how many gifts I gave you or how beautiful I looked for you”. How does this make sense? Does giving gifts make a lifetime relationship? I doubt my dear Jiah. Because if that would have been the case there would not have been any divorces in this world and yes breakups too. And tell me if he asked you to give him gifts or in fact his sister. I am sure you did it out of your affection towards him.

You mentioned that your life was him and your work. Please tell me what work are you talking about? What best I know your career is that you had no major projects in your kitty since 2010. You were well aware that your self-proclaimed lover is already cheating on you but you choose to ignore that. Who asked you? Why didn’t you take it on his face itself? You know it well that he is not looking for a stable relationship with you but, it was you who was forcing the relationship on him. He was innocent. He was only doing what most of people do at this age; casual relationships. And please don’t give me the crap that you may not have ever been into a casual relationships, it’s OK, everybody does that. He was no different.  I am sure that you also would have had your piece of casual relationships.

I also choose to disagree on your claims that he raped you. Your letter clearly states that you guys were involved sexually on mutual terms. So rape is not in the picture my dear. You are not a school kid with whom a guy would play doctor-doctor games.

You died, with your wish, and made other people’s life nothing less than death.

OKAY. Let’s now talk about important part. You died. Cool with me. But what was the purpose of making another person’s life more miserable than death. That young chap now stands nowhere- not that he stood anywhere in his life earlier but still, you did make him lose a lot. Mind it A LOT. He at this time is forcefully playing a role of victim and take my words he did not deserve that. Tell me why would you like to blame him? Just because he made love to you when you were ready. He had a good time with you when you too wanted the same?

You yourself mentioned in your six page letter that how you didn’t see any love or commitment from him, then please, for God’s grace tell me where did you see that he would marry you or even continue in a relationship with you. You knew everything already then why are you blaming him now?

Or did you blame him because he chooses to go with another women and your ego was badly hurt? We all have our share of breakups in our lives but does that mean that we run pillar-to-post to make the other person’s life miserable. Let me take an example here:

I like somebody. She is beautiful. She has rejected my proposal umpteen times. So should I take her to police because she is not accepting my proposal and I may go ahead and suicide and write a letter on her name. Should I tell everyone that if I kill myself then she should be held responsible because she did not like me?

Surely my condolence is with your family. The loss is bigger than anything but, loss has already happened. It cannot be reverted and moreover you decided to kill yourself so the blame should not be put to somebody else’s table. Your family is now blaming the poor kid for something he may not have been even aware of.

About your mom now, there is no question that her loss is irreversible. But, is she doing good in terms of make the poor guy’s life lamentable. I wonder if she saw those marks on your neck and body earlier then why didn’t she took up the thing with police then?

She is also to be blamed here, after all, she knew everything first hand and it was she who had a blindfold on her hand then. And please don’t say that she did not do that because she was worried about your image because if that would have been the case this whole letter and the abortion and the rape and the ‘My daughter was victim’ and this and that thing would never have came out. Another thing : Do you hint if your mom is doing this to mint some money?

In the end the conclusion that I drive to is that you did not kill yourself because you had to go through a troublesome relationship but because you did not had a career and a life you wanted. But, it was your big ego that did not allow you to accept that fact, thus, you opted to choose a abominable reason and blame a man who probably may have had a gloaming career. Thanks Jiah, you were successfully able to deteriorate a man’s family and career. Much thanks. I mean this is the best you could do to take the scourge of your own death; which surprisingly you took yourself.

Best, and RIP wishes,

Aditya Bhasin

How about sharing what you feel about this post or my writing. May be drop a comment here or submit your feedback on this link

Also read:
http://www.timesofindia.com/entertainment/bollywood/news-interviews/What-Jiah-Khan-wrote-to-Suraj-Pancholi/articleshow/20588413.cms

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/mumbai/Jiahs-suicide-note-was-unsigned-carried-no-date-and-took-no-names-Pancholis-lawyer/articleshow/20596487.cms
Disclaimer : This post does not intend to hurt anybody’s sentiments or emotional belief. The views expressed are solely of Aditya Bhasin and may or may not have an acceptance from others. Readers are suggested to make a sound opinion after reading this post. If anything is found to be derogatory, author demands apologies.

Update : June 14 2013 02.:37 AM

1) Para 12 changed “loss had already happened”  to “Loss has already happened”

2) Para 6 : Replaced the word “never” with “ever”

3) Para 3: replaced “then” with “than”

4)Para 3: changed “I think you are a bigger fool” to “I think you would have been a bigger fool”

Update : June 14th 7: 03 AM

1) Added disclaimer

Update: June 14th 7:23 PM

1) Added TOI link

Update June 15th 02.03 AM

 

1) Added TOI link

Thanks Priyanshi Gulati for proof reading.

RingTheBell- IndiBlogger.in’s Blogger Meet


Finally, a day that makes me feel that I am also a part of something legendary was here. Throughout the year, I wished for an Indiblogger’s meet and for almost 2 months now I was counting for it almost every day; especially when there were recent meets in Bangalore, Mumbai and Chennai. I was pretty sure that one is soon coming to Delhi. And to add to it all, I made IndiBlogger’s meet page as my homepage on my phone. I just wanted to be sure that I do not miss out on registering for one of these meets.

This was my third IndiMeet with the excitement level of just like the first meet. This time I was accompanied by a friend first and then a blogger- Shivani. She was at the blogger’s meet for the first time ever.  The venue was British Council, a meet in an open space for the first time.  As the day proceeded, I realized why it was in open space and not in ball room of some hotel.

Image copyright stands with http://www.Indianhomemaker.wordpress.com

The first thing I realized was that it was not specifically ‘Bloggers meet’ especially when compared to the other meets. It was like you were there to be a part of something more social and interactive than a bloggers meet. It was an initiative named Ring The Bell by Breakthrough. In our previous meets, it was all about ‘US’ but this event was something different. This event was not something I was going to regret of attending or anything of that sought. This evening was one that I was going to remember always like all the other blogger’s meets.

We started the day with registering ourselves and then looking at that big screen to see our names been displayed as ‘Aditya Bhasin walked in 3 seconds ago’ and the good part was that my tweet was already there on that screen. I mean I was not counting it so early! And to add it, the first conversation that started on stage was with my tweet. [Happy Child]. Anoop, from IndiBlogger was reading some of the tweets and the first tweet he mentioned about was mine. I waved everyone with a big smile on my face. 🙂 The second tweet that was read was of Shivani, but, she was way to hesitant to raise her hand and let everyone know that IT WAS SHE who tweeted that.

As I was counting I meet Prateek sir, Arvind Mohan and Mahima. The fun was ‘tweet-hide-and-seek’ that I and Priyanka played. She was tweeting where I was? And I was giving her all fake locations within the venue. I gave her a task to find me but she could not. 😉 Now the task is pending for next meet, may we find each other? 🙂

While all the other fun things were going on we had a serious discussion on portrayal of masculinity, on the panel we had Sonali Khan, Rahul Bose and other eminent personalities. The bone of contention was if men in our society portrayed way too much beyond the idea of ‘being man’. Rahul Bose raised some valid points stating that why we should teach men to cry, to express, to let things go and not carry that attitude that ‘Men do not cry’.

Going forward we had an unimaginable presentation of monologue by Mahabanoo Mody-Kotwal. She read ‘Vagina Monologues Script’ from a play by Eve Ensler. The text she was reading was translated in Hindi. Hearing very few lines I could now judge how amazing the writing was and how strong the impact of those words was. I may have missed some words, but I could not take my ears of ‘Vagina Monologues’ they were spectacular.

The other performance of the day was by a band named ‘Sawarthma’ from Bangalore. THESE GUYS WERE CRAZY MAN. I mean one was wearing retro clothes, other was wearing a suit, the drummer had a traditional Kurta, another guy was wearing green pants and green glasses, or shades, or whatever and the lead vocalist was wearing some weird stuff with those MANY-COLOR-CANVAS-SHOES-AND-HAD WEIRD-HAIR-STYLE. But they were awesome, I do not like rock music, I do not even know if what they played there was rock or something, but yes it was enjoyable to all the possible extent. [Confession: I did tap my feet]. If I ever get an opportunity to visit their concert, I am going for sure.

It was then time for Anushka Shanker’s performance. For the first time I was seeing her playing and otherwise too. Moreover I was seeing any classical performance for the first time. The first thing that I mentioned after seeing here was “She is beautiful”. And like icing on cake, when she played, it was mesmerizing. And not only was her, the person who played flute also very good. It was a performance I was looking forward to and it did match all my expectations.

Another reason why I feel I am part of something more than legendary is ‘IndiChange’ it is a brain-child of Anoop, from IndiBlogger.in. The idea of IndiChange.org is to bring all sought of socials causes and activists on a single platform and adding the power of writing to it. I support it with full devotion. Let’s bring the change! Let us change! Let me change!

Like all the meets this one too was well organized, but a lot of us missed that ‘real’ blogger meet that we always had. But, then one other hand we all agreed that these kinds of meet are also important. One has to think beyond ones own comfort zone. Till date we were meeting for our own good and being more social. This time we met to take a pledge` and to #RingTheBell against domestic violence. Much enjoyed.

The day was great, I came out thrilled and yes with a strong message of standing against domestic violence. And in the end I am now looking forward to next IndiBlogger meet!

Also Read :We Live in a World Raised by Women. Let’s respect that

I was flying, quite literally ! Flying Fox: Neemrana Fort


9504_10152409281365416_1071384340_nFor a long time I was very eager to visit this place in Neemrana Fort, Rajasthan. What I knew about this place was that apart from a beautifully made and more than a 200 yrs old fort you get to have an amazing experience of ‘flying like a fox’. I was there with my office colleagues. Before going there all were excited about the flying experience, but some were almost numb after seeing what exactly they were supposed to do ! (More on this..a little later)

The zipping here at Neemrana fort which has been setup and maintained by Flying Fox team is the longest in Asia with five-zip lines, spread across two KM over three-hours. In this three-hour tour you get to do quite a bit of tracking too. From FlyingFox office to point-one you are supposed to walk till hill-top. It is here you are given the much required basic training of how to Fly with ease. While you are about to start the first zip-line one may feel scary looking at the deep valley in front of you and only one thing comes to your mind that “minutes ago I signed by own death-agreement.” but, when you are in air, you would hardly remember anything. To feel the real fun of this flying-like experience, one has to let himself/herself completely free. To me it looked way to easy to cross these zip-lines. The second-zip line in the tour is most scary and adventurous. It goes deep, fast and is longest among all.

While tracking we had a Gangnam style performance too, watch video. He works along with me and is a photographer and 3D artist.

Now coming back to the numb people part. Well, in our first zip a friend of mine got scared about this whole thing. She was not even ready to stand at the platform. All she said was that she is not going to do it anyway. And this was one difficult moment for all us. I mean there was actually no way out of this. We had to make sure that she does it in some or the otherway. I remember WHAT ALL things we had to say to boost her confidence, here are some of them :

“You’re Six-Sigma, you can do it”

“an engineer is scared of a zip-line? no.. do it!!”

“Abhi nahi tu kabhi nahi ” (either now or never)

“Conquer your freight”

“You’re super-safe with these harnesses”

The most funny and may be annoying to her was what I said “Do it ! Your dog will be proud of you !!!! “ and that was it, after that she gave me a blank-look and zipped off…. hurrah !”

The whole day at Neemrana was amazing, apart from the fact that some people there could not dip their fork in a small-little-very-tiny-cake. They felt offended.AWWWWWWWW ! And yes, another person also did not get cake but, he ACTUALLY DID NOT FELT OFFENDED as he agreed on marking me down on ‘Professionalism’ parameter, he was my manager.

Another things which one may keep in mind is that there is almost no place to have b’fast or lunch at Neemrana fort. The only place they have is very expensive. Rs 550 + taxes for b’fast buffet. So make sure you have a ‘heavy-stomach’ before you start.

A few suggestions for Team Flying Fox, no questions that you guys started something exciting and safe but, add more to it. Make the ziplines more interesting and adventurous. May be some more deep-down ziplines and add more activities to it. Like I badly wanted to stop in between those ziplines to take a look around, but obviously I could not. And maybe you can also add some free-fall kind of activities too.

Much Thanks to Pema and Tom for flying us safe. Respect you guys.

So, overall, it a place to watch out for. No, it is not a once in a lifetime opportunity but near to it. ! GO ZIPPING !