Was Everyone Born to be a Driver?


I am in 24th year of my life and one thing I have understood well is that one cannot be a jack of all trades. I know it very well that you cannot be a born ‘expert’ in everything. One has to continue the journey of learning, relearning and a lot of times unlearning.

Never ever in my life I have said that I know everything or I can do anything. No. I cannot. We cannot.  In the end I am a human and I need time to learn things and then in occur that learning over a period of time.

In past few days one thing I’ve been learning is driving. And let’s be honest learning driving has taught me that everybody in this world was born to be a driver.  They never learnt how to drive, the just popped out of their mumma’s tummy and started driving their cars across the city and sometimes they were confident enough to even take it on highways.

Whereas I was the ignored child of God and may be that’s why he never taught me how to drive. He let me come into this world of expert drivers and face the shame of not knowing how to drive.

Two months back I took the challenge to learn how to drive from a driving school. The classes lasted for 15 days and after that I thought I can now drive only until I came to reality and tried to drive my new car for the first time. [Yes, new car! J I gifted it to myself this birthday. *proud*]

I sat in car. Put my seat belt. My hands were shaking. I felt as if my heart missed a beat. I was brave enough to put first gear. I released the clutch very slowly. And zoooooooom ! With a jerk engine was turned off. I tried again, same thing happened. Tried again, same thing happened. And then the next time I tried, car moved on. A little too fast for me to judge what happened. Somehow I managed to stop the car within first few meters. I felt a new life then and there.

I thanked God that I did not bang the car anywhere. Then after I came out of my car and locked it. I had no guts to drive again. I was like no I cannot. I don’t want to hurt my car. I will not drive.

Few days later, one of the most experienced car drivers in my locality approached me if I want to learn driving.  To me he is more than a car driver. I knew him since I was five years old. He taught me how to ride a cycle. He taught me how to ride a gear scooter [LML Vespa that I had way back in year 2010]. He taught me how to ride a gear-less scooter [Activa] and now it was time for a car. In totality he was a teacher.

He took in total seven sessions for me. While with him I drove my car well with confidence. He corrected me when I made mistakes and appreciated me when I did things well. He balanced my car when I was going wrong and he scolded me when I did bizarre mistakes.

What hurt me most were the people who ware driving around me. I have never felt so pissed off than this. I have clearly stated on my car that a ‘fool’ is driving. I have put up big learning signs and along with that I always keep my car dipper on so that everyone notices my car and declare to them ‘ohhhh, he is learning’.

Yet, some people are so insensitive that they would keep on honking for no reasons. Like on Steep roads, I fail to move my car on first gear. Because when I leave brakes it moves backward and scares the shit out me that I would bang in from back. And I do not leave breaks and try to release clutch then the engine would turn off for obvious reasons.

People behind me would keep on honking and give me weird looks [something I can see in rear view mirror]. They fail to understand that I am new onto this and I am still learning. It was after driving for around 150 KMS that I understood that on steep roads one should be using handbrakes and then release clutch. [As I said earlier I am still learning].

Then there are some people to whom I would give enough space to over take me and then when they would pass by me they would be give me angry looks :@ . Fish man, I just let you pass by me and then you are giving this angry looks. Jerk. And in most typical sense I would greet them with Delhi’s most favourite verb “Bhos****ka sala, chu****”

Another thing which I noticed was that how shallow a man’s ego is in this city. Whenever my sister would be learning to drive, one or another guy would takeover her after giving that mischief smile.  It pisses me off so much, I mean once again  man, somebody is leaning and you are doing nothing else than demotivating the other person.

And now when both I and my sister is comfortable and confident driving, I make sure she does not let anybody take over her the wrong way. If somebody does, well I make sure that she does same to that person with that same set of smile. 😉

On the other hand I have always been kind to those who have been learning to ride their pillions. I’ve been driving scooters for years now and I am good on that front, but I still learn something new every day.  Because pillion riders usually do not put any learning sign it is still easy for anyone to judge that they are new to this thing. And having said that I always make sure that I give them complete space to ride and be patient with them when they fail to kick start their scooters on red light.

I would also like to thanks those five gracious people who help me when I take my car out from parking or park it again there. These people are angles for me. I make sure that two people stand in front of my car, two are at the back. And the last person is to make sure all other four folks are doing their job fine ;).  (These people are all in addition to reverse parking system and my own presence of mind.)

In the end to all those who still think that those who are learning to drive should not do so or should only drive on open roads. Here is a request: Let’s learn to be sensitive towards those who are still in learning phase and let them take their own time to be an expert like you. And if you find it difficult to cope with new car driving folks on road then please with respect Fuck Off.

P.S. I am not sorry for the F word I used. I mean that; quite literally.  Offence meant; Period.

Important points

1) Drove for around 750 kms in  two last months

2) Banged my car from left side on the 7 th day itself 😦

3) Haven’t taken car for a long drive yet

4) My planned trip with friends to Murthal is still not done

5).. and finally my car : She is love >3

Wise Enough to be Foolish : Gauri Jayaram : Book Review


wise-enough-to-be-foolish-400x400-imadhqgnysbhszh3

Wise Enough to be Foolish is a fictionalized memoir that traces the journey of an Indian girl’s life, with all its challenges and delightful surprises, as she blossoms from an insecure child into a confident young woman. This roller-coaster ride of adventure, laughter and heartache, as she balances her love life with her struggle for independence, will keep you guessing – What rules will she break next? How far will she go to find herself?

Well, after a long time I was reading a book written in first person. Author herself takes you to a journey which is worth reading. The acknowledgement section is a clear ‘intervention’  into Jayaram’s life. This section speaks loud and clear about author’s life which later helps to read book in a better manner. This book is all about author’s life and the choices she made.

Wise Enough To Be Foolish is about a peregrinate that protagonist of this book takes. It starts from childhood and moves to her college and lasts till she falls in love, once, another time and till she gets married. Jayaram has written this book with most sincere details possible. She has managed to share each details of her life in most elegant manner possible.

The book’s cover connotes her life very literally. If I can describe the cover page I would say it is Gauri herself on the page. With just one suitcase. A title defining her life. Reading the book makes this cover page more appropriate. The character of Gauri is just what it is on the cover page. She is outrageous, she is bold and she takes you on a ride with you.

What is most likable about this book is how an individual can face and run through different phases of life. The protagonist here makes mistakes and move over them quickly, The character portrayed is likable.

One thing that disliked about this book was number of characters. They were MANY. Though hardly few of them lasted more than few lines. At one point I felt as if my memory test is been done in terms of how many character names I can remember. And in the last when we reach epilogue, one seems to forget most of the characters.

I surely suggest reading this book. It takes you through a journey which you always wish you had.

Check the website here: Wise Enough to be Foolish.

Part of sales proceeds from the price of Wise Enough to be Foolish support Pinakthon’s Charity – Women’s Cancer Initiative.

Publisher                        Jaico Publishing House
Publication Year            2013
ISBN-13                         9788184954562
ISBN-10                         8184954565
Language                       English
Binding                          Paperback
Number of Pages         216 Pages

About The Author

Mother of two girls, amateur athlete, part-time writer, management school drop-out, traveller, entrepreneur, in full-time employment with the world’s largest escorted touring company and woman behind The Active Holiday Company, Gauri Jayaram is a little bit of many things and still not satisfied! She frequently combines her love for long distance running with rock music.

Dada by Vibhor Tikiya: Book Review


1176284_10153122324670416_305853828_n

Title: Dada
Author: Vibhor Tikiya
Publisher: Indra Publishing House
Price: Rs 149
Genre: Fiction
Pages: 301

On Title:
The title of this book is most captivating, once you read the word ‘DADA’ there is an automated thought in your mind that it must be talking about what we call an elder brother in Bengali. The title makes you more inclined to read this book.

Characters:
There are majorly four characters. Among them DADA is the protagonist. The part, that author missed here is developing the characters completely. Somewhere I believe the characters were not developed the way they could have been.
Story :
Well, it’s a story based in college. Four friends, each one of them are different from other  yet they make up a gang which fights together, booze together, cheat together, and all that once can think of in a college life.
The adventures they go through in their college lives are worth reading. They manage to take you to your own college days and think of things you did in your time. At one point when they were to move apart as the college got over- the scene does make you have tears in your eyes. It takes you back to the days when you were parted with your friends. To me it was a little different. I actually when in to imagine  what would it be like when I would move apart from my office. When the day would come where I would have to say good bye to this awesome team I work with.
The story then after takes a leap and moves to US where only the protagonist is in the picture. This is where the story takes a fairy tale turn. Everything is good. Protagonist gets everything served in a golden plate and is fulfilled by all his wishes coming true.
There is a lot of instances in the book where accepting the events happening become difficult for  you for obvious reasons, how can you you accept that you would NEVER be caught for anything in your college. OR maybe you would get a clean sweep for all your acts. This is the point where book turns out to be be fictional otherwise the book and the story is very simple and can be accepted as a true event of anybody’s college life.

Final Words :


This book is surely an interesting read.  Go grab the book. I am sure you will enjoy reading it.

About the Author

An IIM Ahmedabad and IISc Bangalore alumnus, the crazy author has been around in many conventional fields before he took to writing DADA. For him, the book signifies dreams that never die, friendship that go the distance and unwavering passion and belief.

An Open Letter to Late Jiah Khan


Wherever you might be,

You were among those rare drop-head faces. You were an actor. You were successful . OK lets be reasonable, soon to be successful. You were young. Yet you choose to take a step which was abominable. Everybody goes through vexatious time, but, does everybody decide to kill thyself? I think NO. To put across my take in a better way I would go ahead and divide this letter in two sections- before suicide, after suicide. One thing common among both the sections would be ‘The Letter You Wrote’ as stated by your family. Though, I think that this is a different story and I doubt your family’s intentions when they say ‘you’ wrote that letter; especially, when it came out after so many days. But, I think that is OK, even for me writing an epic blog post does take time.

 You were young yet sad, thus, you killed yourself.

As per your letter I am assuming that you and Sooraj were in a relationship. If not a relationship, maybe you guys were friends, close friends, or may have be into a sexual relationship as well. That is OK. No issues on that part. So where was the problem? You enjoyed being with him and vice-verse. A lot of time you guys may have made love. Again no issues. Absolutely OK. One time it went wrong, you became pregnant. He may have asked you to abort the child; maybe it was wrong on his part. If he had guts to dip the fork into the cake, he should have had balls to take care of the pudding too. 😉

Though I wonder if you had no sense of how to use contraception or how condoms are readily available in market these days; yeah female condoms too. And moreover if I assume that he may not have asked you to abort the child, would you really have stepped ahead to give birth to the baby? I don’t think so. If you would have then I think you would have been a bigger fool than what your suicide has made out of you. It is obviously something what wonders me that how come a 22 yr just college pass out guy can pass on you like this? I am sure there had been a spark from both the ends. You know like those fairy-tale stories of Bollywood- an actor sees an upcoming actor in a party. They talk, they meet, they are then good friends, and they end into a live in relationship kind of thing.

In your letter you wrote “Yet you tortured me every day.” What do you mean by that? Were you a slave to him? OR did he kept you under a lock all the time or do you want to say that he was such an animal that he even put a chastity lock on you? Saying that he put you through mysterious affliction is something very foolish on your part. How come just anybody who is also just another actor’s son can dominate you? You were 25; mature enough. And don’t give me the crap that you were all in love with him. You may have been but, I am sure that you cannot be such a fool that you don’t know what is into a man’s mind. I don’t say that Sooraj was not wrong maybe he was but were you all right on your part? I see a difficult yes here.

“It didn’t matter how many gifts I gave you or how beautiful I looked for you”. How does this make sense? Does giving gifts make a lifetime relationship? I doubt my dear Jiah. Because if that would have been the case there would not have been any divorces in this world and yes breakups too. And tell me if he asked you to give him gifts or in fact his sister. I am sure you did it out of your affection towards him.

You mentioned that your life was him and your work. Please tell me what work are you talking about? What best I know your career is that you had no major projects in your kitty since 2010. You were well aware that your self-proclaimed lover is already cheating on you but you choose to ignore that. Who asked you? Why didn’t you take it on his face itself? You know it well that he is not looking for a stable relationship with you but, it was you who was forcing the relationship on him. He was innocent. He was only doing what most of people do at this age; casual relationships. And please don’t give me the crap that you may not have ever been into a casual relationships, it’s OK, everybody does that. He was no different.  I am sure that you also would have had your piece of casual relationships.

I also choose to disagree on your claims that he raped you. Your letter clearly states that you guys were involved sexually on mutual terms. So rape is not in the picture my dear. You are not a school kid with whom a guy would play doctor-doctor games.

You died, with your wish, and made other people’s life nothing less than death.

OKAY. Let’s now talk about important part. You died. Cool with me. But what was the purpose of making another person’s life more miserable than death. That young chap now stands nowhere- not that he stood anywhere in his life earlier but still, you did make him lose a lot. Mind it A LOT. He at this time is forcefully playing a role of victim and take my words he did not deserve that. Tell me why would you like to blame him? Just because he made love to you when you were ready. He had a good time with you when you too wanted the same?

You yourself mentioned in your six page letter that how you didn’t see any love or commitment from him, then please, for God’s grace tell me where did you see that he would marry you or even continue in a relationship with you. You knew everything already then why are you blaming him now?

Or did you blame him because he chooses to go with another women and your ego was badly hurt? We all have our share of breakups in our lives but does that mean that we run pillar-to-post to make the other person’s life miserable. Let me take an example here:

I like somebody. She is beautiful. She has rejected my proposal umpteen times. So should I take her to police because she is not accepting my proposal and I may go ahead and suicide and write a letter on her name. Should I tell everyone that if I kill myself then she should be held responsible because she did not like me?

Surely my condolence is with your family. The loss is bigger than anything but, loss has already happened. It cannot be reverted and moreover you decided to kill yourself so the blame should not be put to somebody else’s table. Your family is now blaming the poor kid for something he may not have been even aware of.

About your mom now, there is no question that her loss is irreversible. But, is she doing good in terms of make the poor guy’s life lamentable. I wonder if she saw those marks on your neck and body earlier then why didn’t she took up the thing with police then?

She is also to be blamed here, after all, she knew everything first hand and it was she who had a blindfold on her hand then. And please don’t say that she did not do that because she was worried about your image because if that would have been the case this whole letter and the abortion and the rape and the ‘My daughter was victim’ and this and that thing would never have came out. Another thing : Do you hint if your mom is doing this to mint some money?

In the end the conclusion that I drive to is that you did not kill yourself because you had to go through a troublesome relationship but because you did not had a career and a life you wanted. But, it was your big ego that did not allow you to accept that fact, thus, you opted to choose a abominable reason and blame a man who probably may have had a gloaming career. Thanks Jiah, you were successfully able to deteriorate a man’s family and career. Much thanks. I mean this is the best you could do to take the scourge of your own death; which surprisingly you took yourself.

Best, and RIP wishes,

Aditya Bhasin

How about sharing what you feel about this post or my writing. May be drop a comment here or submit your feedback on this link

Also read:
http://www.timesofindia.com/entertainment/bollywood/news-interviews/What-Jiah-Khan-wrote-to-Suraj-Pancholi/articleshow/20588413.cms

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/mumbai/Jiahs-suicide-note-was-unsigned-carried-no-date-and-took-no-names-Pancholis-lawyer/articleshow/20596487.cms
Disclaimer : This post does not intend to hurt anybody’s sentiments or emotional belief. The views expressed are solely of Aditya Bhasin and may or may not have an acceptance from others. Readers are suggested to make a sound opinion after reading this post. If anything is found to be derogatory, author demands apologies.

Update : June 14 2013 02.:37 AM

1) Para 12 changed “loss had already happened”  to “Loss has already happened”

2) Para 6 : Replaced the word “never” with “ever”

3) Para 3: replaced “then” with “than”

4)Para 3: changed “I think you are a bigger fool” to “I think you would have been a bigger fool”

Update : June 14th 7: 03 AM

1) Added disclaimer

Update: June 14th 7:23 PM

1) Added TOI link

Update June 15th 02.03 AM

 

1) Added TOI link

Thanks Priyanshi Gulati for proof reading.

…and I Visited a Dentist


Finally, I’ve decided to write about the only thing I am most scared to talk about – dental issues. Yes, I am 23 year old child who is so scared of hearing dental issues that if I hear people around me talking about their dental problems I would either walk away or ask them to stop. The sole reason is because it makes me think of many dental problems I have and the utmost need I have to visit an orthodontist. Going to an orthodontist is BIG no-no for me. I cannot go to see them. These blood sucking people daunt me in my dreams. Mere thinking of them gives me cold feet.

In my childhood, I was among those kids who used to hate brushing their teeth for a simple reason because the toothpaste used to taste weird. I was beaten up, scolded, threatened and even a spoon of red-chilly powder was put into my mouth by my parents. This was the intensity of cruelty I had to face. Almost a decade down the line I realize how much my parents cared for me and why they were so strict with me when it came to brushing my teeth. Today, I write this piece after visiting a dentist for more than 20 times, with 3 major extractions done, 4 cavity removal sessions and ‘recently realized problem’ of gum bleeding.

What all I have been through in terms of my dental problem is itself a moral for me and younger children I have in my family. I often tell my younger cousin who is 7 yrs old that what happens when you do not brush your teeth properly and regularly. For some reasons he chooses to listen to me because he has seen me crying madly over pain in my teeth many times.

Another reason why I am now more worried about my dental problem is because I now see my mother in terrible pain because of dental problems she ignored when she was of my age. She has lost most of her teeth; those lefts are in bad condition. Seeing me into her situation 20 yrs down the line is what makes me shit the bed.

All the dental issues I had ever since my childhood is taking toll on me even today. Just an example I cannot have a bubble gum or éclairs in fact. Why? Because they are sticky and may harm the filling I had to get rid of those cavities.

Check out My Healthy Speak Blog

Book Review: Complete/ Convenient: Ketan Bhagat : a Riveting Story


From www.ketanbhagat.com

From http://www.ketanbhagat.com

Publisher : Srishti Publisher

Price: Rs 195

ISBN 978-93-80349-92-3

 

“Life is more convenient there, life is more complete here”. From this line is the title of this book been derived . Just one line, yet with full power it describes the complete book itself.

Bhagat’s debut novel is based on lives of Everyman settled in other countries living behind not only a country that needs them, but, also a family, some friends, emotions, liberty, satisfaction and that sense of ‘ “I was complete there’.”

First views

400 pages! That’s a huge number. This was my first reaction on the book. We all are now habitual of reading 250-280 pages fiction novel, thus, this initially comes like a shocker. But when you read this book, you would realize within first 50 pages that how well detailed this book is; a book well written in complete leisure.

“Only Kabir noticed that she didn’t touch any male member’s feet. Just went close enough to their feet and when her fingers were inches away, she moved back. So typical of Myra, touch me not!”

Story

The protagonist of this story is Kabir and Myra. Both settled in India. Their lives were going pretty well when one sudden day an opportunity strikes the door and makes it impossible for Kabir to turn it down. Then after, they both marry, and fly for their ‘well dreamt’ foreign life.

Bhagat takes you through their complete journey in most simple yet thought-provoking manner.

This book does not necessarily shows NRIs in high lights nor does this book makes them play the role of victim. We may agree that this book is a work of fiction but, Bhagat has certainly taken a lot of his own “NRI Experience” and put it into words. This book has all into it- the Punjabi weddings and all the glamour added to it and the sad part of Sydney and ‘proclaimed’ modern life.

Book is written in third person and is divided among three chapters. Describing the journey from Mumbai to Delhi to Sydney, further the stay in Sydney and the journey of coming to home.

Why (who) should (you) read?

This book is actually meant for everyone; an egoist, an egotist, an altruist, an introvert, an extrovert, an ambivert, a misanthrope, a misogynist, a misogamist and an ascetic. For anyone who ever thought that settling down in abroad is a life changing experience; this book would change your perception.

This book can also be an eye opener for those NRIs who are settled in other countries and are delaying their decision to come back to their country.

Funny and weird notes

“A popular Diwali sparkler, shaped like a rod, it produces a flickering fountain of colorful glitters that hummingly crawl towards the other end.”

Well, this is how the author describes phuljhari. It was like been explained to an alien over the phone.

“..Uncles taking aunts to Murthal dhabas for Karvachauth” The mere mention of Murthal makes me so close to this book. #TrueDelhite.

“The arrival was meaningful for him, not India. India had moved on. “”I missed you”” Kabir accidently mumbled to India. “”Liar !  You yourself left me… willingly, excitedly !”” India replied honestly, “”But don’t worry. I am doing fine without you. In infect , much more than fine.”” A shiver of guilt and possessiveness passed through Kabir.

“He looked down at the newspaper…….Rajnikanth” pg. 172. This was the most strange section. I felt as if I am reading a year compiled newspaper. It had all the major stories of the year into it.

In comparison to Chetan Bhagat

I need to be honest here. I personally did not like author’s idea of mentioning Chetan Bhagat’s name everywhere; from email to interview to books to everything. Somewhere it was a thumb down for me.

Many of you may not agree with me on this point but, this is my idea. On my end I did not choose to read this book because it was written by Chetan Bhagat’s brother but because it was a book written a man who has already experienced what he is going to write.

To me Ketan Bhagat was just an author- no one’s brother; no one’s nothing.

But still, if I have to judge both their works. I have to appraise Ketan for the tremendous job that he has done. His writing skills are invigorating and captivating. His choice of words were brilliant and elegant.

Unlike the other Bhagat’s work this book is not just a fiction. It is a good fiction; a book that would stay in your minds for a long time. Ketan has certainly crossed the benchmark his brother was able to set over few years.

Chetan Bhagat would surely envy his brother for breath-taking success his brother is going to have very soon.

Final Words

Though the author would himself deny, but, this book is more like an autobiography. Author takes his readers through different phases of his life, his feelings, emotions and his sense of belongingness to everything. As you read the introduction of author on first page of book and then read the book itself you would start relating the author with the characters and events.

This is book is here to stay for long and so is the author. From the first book itself one can judge his mastery with words and how playful he can be with them. Undoubtedly, his writing is powerful.

Big hands up for Ketan; this book is likeable and a must read. Brilliant job done.

 

About Author: Ketan Bhagat is a thirty-something common man, who stands out as uncommon owing to his mastery with words, smart sense of humour and lively demeanour  The art of storytelling seems to be in his genes.

 

Book Review: Smart Phones Dumb People by Parthajeet Sarma


For the first time when I looked at the book cover I thought it would talk about how technology has made people dumb. Well, in some instances it does talk about the said thing but in a broader prospective this book is all about how technology can help us address many issues that seem to prevail around us and in our lives.

The main focus of book is on how entrepreneurship and social entrepreneurship can help us eradicate many issues from our ever expanding cities. Sarma has also shared some of social enterpenuer stories, that inspires you to take that little step towards bringing a difference to the society.

The most important aspect that Sarma pointed out in this book is how computer and phone have become integral part of our lives and not having any of these in our life would make things so difficult. This does raise a question on the kind of life we are living. No doubt that technology is important and an eminent part of anyone’s life but, the way technology is over taking our lives for wrong reason is something one needs to worry about.

Sarma, who is an innovator and an entrepreneur, has touched the base of what he is best at; technology and innovation along with other important elements which are linked directly or indirectly.

It is worth reading for anyone who is looking to read something different and directly from horse’s mouth about various aspects that included innovation, technology, entrepreneurship, priorities and corruption.

This non-fiction is a fresh and an easy read among all those fiction books we read almost everyday. The idea is good but could have been presented in a far better manner. But for the first book, author deserves a word of appreciation.

Part of India and the World live in the 21st century whereas parts live in 19th century. Whilst many of us live in times ruled by smartphones and the internet, millions go without easy access to basics like water and electricity

 

About Author: Sarma is an award winning innovator and successful entrepreneurs. A fan of free market and technology, he likes writing and talking about holistic approaches towards addressing base of the pyramid issues.

 

This book was sent to me by author for an unbiased review. If you are an author or a publisher who would like me to review their books please drop an email at [A] [@] adityabhasin.in or [adityabhasin81] @ gmail. [Com]

 

 

[If you have a suggestion or feedback or a word of appreciation or if you think this blog sucks please drop an email at [adityabhasin81] @ gmail. [Com] or [A] [@] adityabhasin.in. I would be pleased to hear from you folks and improve on that feedback.