It is still a love story. A heart breaking.


In their teen age was when they both met, a random meet. The guy had fallen in love with a face, that face had no name, no other identity. Days and month passed but nothing happened between both of them. Boy continued to fall for this girl more and more. He was 16 at that time and yet he said to himself that “she is the girl I want to spend my life with”. Friends called him foolish, yet he continued to fall more and more for this girl. This girl, who he found out to be the most attractive face ever. He said that she seems to have some different kind of childlike face. He felt mesmerized about her. When the first time he went to speak to her, she simply said no, she was not interested for any kind of friendship. He did not feel bad nor he was hurt for anything, he said it’s completely her choice if she wants to be a friend to him or not.
 
Time passed, and so the year. Time came when destiny wanted them to meet, maybe for forever. Something’s from this guy’s end and something from this girl’s end, they happened to end up into a friendship. Then started a part of their life which was like a dream come true, in that early age they fell for each other. Everything among them was so traditional. The guy used to make local calls at two rupees per minute from a local booth near his house, the first few calls were always waste. Somebody or else picked up the phone in girl’s house. The conversations used to last for minutes and sometimes hours.
 
The total time spent on phone was proportional to the amount of change guy could find from his mom’s purse and from under the pillow. Those were the most kiddish yet beautiful conversation one could have. They end up asking each other their favourite color, what they like to eat, did they have their food and many other such conversations. Mainer times, the girl used to call him early in morning at four AM and the boy was so engraved into his sleep that he would not hear any of those 55 calls made early in morning. Girl was sweet, she never blamed or said anything over this thing. She just kept on calling every day at sharp four AM, finally came one day when the guy manage to get up with those calls and spoke to her at that time. She was happy that he at least made an effort.
 
Seasons, months and years passed and they continued to be together. They were in different schools and then different colleges yet they were inseparable. The best part about the girl was that she was an understanding person. Very understanding. There was not even a single moment of their relation when the guy might have said that you do not understand me. The guy was always loyal to her, yes he accepted that there were some misses on his end once or a while, but he always accepted those misses.
 
He did not hide anything from her, what was in his mind was what she knew always. This was their bond.
 
Over course of years, it was thrice that the guy felt attracted towards another girl. It was nothing but attraction. The wrong thing on this guy’s end was that he went on face value sometimes. Yet he was confident of his relationship and more proud of it. He never crossed his thin line. What was an attraction to him stayed same and he got over it in less than 4-5 days every time. Out of these three instances there was not even single instance when he did not tell her about his attractions. He was always clear about them and apologized for same. She got a little angry but always had that trust on him that he will never cross his thin line. And he made sure that he never, never does that again.
 
 
She never had such an attraction towards anyone else like she had towards him. He was proud of that thing. One thing which was most common between both was that they wanted to stay together always. Not once they said that they will separate ever in life. Their bond was a rare one to find.
 
Manier times when they told others they were together for these many years, people felt astonished. Most of the man hearing his story said that the guy was a fool to stay in a relationship for so long. And the girls who heard this story always said that wish they had a story like them. They both were very happy about how everything was going. Among many exiting things they planned together, the guy wanted to buy a car, actually they both wanted one. They always thought about long drivers, long conversations, good food served in-car instead of a Pizza hut corner, those romantic drives where would just hold each other hands and drive without any destination. The first long journey they planned they would go on would be some forts in Rajasthan. But all these exiting things were far-sighted. This guy was still working hard to make his dreams, though he was always sure that he will live these dreams with only love of her life once for sure.
There was one thing which she disliked about him. He himself knew that he was not very good on that front but he just failed to manage his priorities. He was a guy who loved one girl and he loved his work. He always said that his work was a religion for him. Doubtless everything else than work was equally important for him if not more but there was a period in his life when he failed to recognize what he was losing in his endeavor to love his religion. For him his work became everything, other things became his second priority. Yes, that included her as well. She had seen him working in past as well and had always supported him. She knew it well what kind of passion he happens to have for his work and the only reason for him to work so hard: fulfil everything for himself and his family and her he ever dreamt of.
But as they say there comes a saturation point of every human and everything. Maybe this was her saturation point. Slowly, she started feeling detached from him. He got a bit harsh on her too. What used to be an hr. long quality conversation everyday became a 15 minute breather-like conversation every day. The meetings – those were enjoyable and in want of purest emotion: love became like a mechanical thing. Sometimes when they met it felt like two androids were meeting each other. Things started to turn sour among them, the guy never sensed how bad it was going to be. The girl did sense and did all she could to make him understand that what she was going through and what might happen if thing does not improve between both of them. He did understood quite a few times but never understood the gravity of the situation. Unknowingly he took everything very lightly well in her words: for-granted.
 
It was last winter that thing were moving towards being almost ruined. He could smell it but failed to fix it. He was way too into his work to give time to a stinking relationship. A relationship he always cherished and thought that it will improve; may be automatically; without any efforts. Only later he realized that thing does not work that way.
 
Then came a day when everything was devastated. Girl wanted to move away, for both their good. Now was the time when the guy realized what wrong he was doing and how he was supposed to be blamed for everything. He asked for some time from girl, he said that give me some time to make things better and he would have no expectations. So he asked for thirty days to make sure he will get things in a working order and after that it would be the girls’ choice if she would like to give the guy another chance. If not, he promised that he will walk away will never look back. In that time he did all he could to tell her how much he loves her. He did all he never did for her. He started to manage his work a little well so that he could give her some more time. Somewhere between all this the girl told him that there is no need for him to do these things. She know it well that he loved him like anything and she loves him same way. But, it was something else that is making her do this.
 
Initially, the guy thought that might be another guy. But soon he realized no, it was not another guy, it was HE who was responsible for everything. Nobody else; just HE.
 
 
At one point, they both thought that things were getting back to normal and they were ready to fall in love with each other once again. That even happened, but, lasted for not more than seven days. Then came a day when they both met, to talk. Girl said what she wanted to and boy said what he wanted to. In that conversation of three hr., they both broke down manier times. The boy was on weaker end. He just could not gulp down the fact that they both were no more together and they just broke up. That day, they parted for each other’s good. Boy had his reasons to agree with this one-sided breakup. He understood that for her this relationship was turning out to be a claustrophobic one. They cried, they hugged, and the girl asked the guy for a smile and bid each other good-bye. They parted away, boy on his way to home broke down while riding his pillion. It was difficult for him to agree and accept that the relationship that was supposed to turn into a marriage bond just ended. Yeah! Ended.
 
He was sure that it would be the same on girls end too but he did not knew anything much about what she might be like or what she might be feeling. Well, they broke up so they were supposed to end their contact with each other. The girl, while discussing everything made sure that she persuaded him to continue staying in touch, he was reluctant about same. He said if it was the end then it should be a complete end, but, somehow they agreed to keep in touch.
That night, the guy could not sleep, he just cried and let it all go. They continued to talk to each other for many days, but well, they were no more in a relationship. The guy made a journal for himself, every day he wrote something into that journal about how he felt about her not being around. In few days only, guy’s mother sensed something and asked him if everything was fine. He said yes; everything was fine. Of course he lied. His mom knew everything about both of them was very much willing to see them as a couple in future too. She was worried about her son but, her son kept everything to himself and very few of his friends.
One bad thing that the guy once again did was that he thought that the girl was happy about this whole thing. He did not blame her for anything, just thought that maybe she is now free and happy only later he realized that how much wrong he was. But then it was too late for him to realize. The loss once again had already happened. The most difficult thing for him to accept and understand was that he always thought that how would she manage? Having been in a relationship for so long he always guided her and suggested her when she was in a doubt, now he thought that how would she manage everything?
 
Yes, it was foolish for him to think that way. After all she was not a child, yet it was his love and care for her that made him think that way. One day when she told him that she was going out-of-state for a period of time he was stranded. It gave him a cold feet that how she will manage in a different state altogether. He never wanted to her to go, but, then he had no right to tell her to stop, he was nothing to her any more.
 
There were quite a few instances that the guy approached her for a fresh start, yes, she did same too. But, thing just did not work out. No, it was not that they gave a start and broke up again. But, they just failed to give it another start.
 
December 2020
 
Somebody far informed this guy that the girl has got married and is now settled. This guy, is single and not much willing to move on. He still feels sorry for mistakes he did and believes that things could have been better than what they were at this time. He had nothing in his hands then some memories. Memories, he had lived with for so many years and continue to live with them. He is extremely happy for the only love of his life. He is proud that he once fell in love with that girl. The purest heart among all.
 
Then after, all this guy did was walked …into the wild.
 
* First attempt on fiction *

Thanks Priyanshi Gulati for proof reading.

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