A woman can be a mother; not necessarily a wife

If a man can choose not to marry then why can’t a woman. Why can’t a 30 yr old women say “I never wanted to marry, I am not going to marry”. Why does society always say that “a woman must marry if they want a settled life.”

 With this post, I am trying to talk about things treated to be a social taboo. If I follow what my elders have made me understand is that earlier words and talks about ‘sex’ ‘teenage relationship’ ‘love marriages’ were taboo. Time has changed and so does the taboo things, no matter how educated we may be, but deep down a lot of us carry certain things as a taboo.

 For a woman, not getting married is treated to be a taboo by our society. For a woman to have children without marriage is treated to be social crisis. And this is where I see a ray of positive change.

 We’re living in a world where both men and women are doing good. In some areas women are exceptional and in some, men are masters of their job. Women are now turning to be more career oriented than man, and this is where the idea of being a mother and not a wife comes into picture. I see no issues in the approach of being a single mother- by choice.

 Assume, a woman in her thirties, V-P of a company. Her parents left the idea of her marriage way back and now it’s no time to marry. ‘Getting married age’ for a woman inIndiais decided to be 25. If she crosses that mark, all our society will say that “she must be lacking somewhere, may be that’s why she could not settle down yet.” She has achieved whatever she wanted in her life and is now starving for more growth along with a ‘normal’ life.

 In this situation, the same woman in her thirties decides to have children without getting married. She thinks that she will at least have somebody to take care of (who is not a nagging husband) and somebody who will take care of her, when she grows old.  She decides that she will be a single mother.

 A single mother does not mean that she will get involved in a sexual relationship with anybody to conceive. My idea is much broader and sensitive. She can have own child, she can directly walk-in into a sperm bank, decide on choice of her donor, get that sperm injected into her womb and have her own child. Or may be she can always adopt an orphan child as-well.

Why our society does needs to question a woman’s decision to be a single mother. Our society does not question what a man does, then why a woman should be questioned and brought under hammer of ‘Moral values.’

 I believe, this thing must be accepted across the country and world, not only for heck of it but to bring a positive change in world around us.

 Today’s woman is enough independent to care of herself and her children (without a husband). It should not be anyone’s business to interfere; it her life at the end of day.

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About Aditya Bhasin

A not so creative person, Aditya Bhasin is a student of English literature (and wanted to be a networking expert.) He was born & brought up in Delhi and choose not to move out ever. You can find him at eating places more then his college, look for him at historical places more then his home, contact him through social media, easily, then a mobile phone. Aditya started blogging out of blue as an advice by his friend and is now addicted to it and can’t stop blogging.

He aspires to write a novel and be a successful media (communication) professional and does not want to be a social media consultant. Aditya is also a great supporter of women rights.

29 thoughts on “A woman can be a mother; not necessarily a wife

  1. firstly, the Indian adoption laws SUCK. I mean our Indian laws are a suire fire way to make sure that more people remain homeless for longer. Also, we live in a society where majority of men are threatened by an intelligent woman and the woman are afraid that a woman with brains will “steal” their man. seriously pathetic situation.

  2. Pingback: No helmet, women on risky ride: #VoiceofChange « I Speak-Aditya Bhasin www.adityabhasin.in

  3. Sorry but I disagree, a child needs both a mother and a father in their lives.
    I don’t think there is anything wrong with a women that doesn’t want to get married. But raising a child takes a family.
    I don’t think a woman can teach a boy on how to be a man, just like I don’t think a man can teach a girl to be a woman.

    • Hey, no need to be sorry, they’re your views and you’re allowed to put it across anyway.

      I would not dis-agree completely to what you said. But, as I have mentioned,I believe a women is NOW capable of raising a child without father.

    • I was raised without a father and I think that I am better off for it. I mean, seriously, reading the news on the amount of father who rape their daughters I think I’m safer without him in my life. some fathers are amazing, some mothers are amazing. doesn’t mean that everyone needs both parents. I’m more responsible than my counterparts who keep saying dad is there to take care na. I dislike that flippant attitude that comes from a false sense of security.
      but then again, your opinion is your opinion.

  4. Superb thoughts. Nice to note that young men are openly appreciating the identity of ladies. And respecting their personal choices.

    I also notice that young Indian males are respecting women and giving them the space they need.

    Thanks . May your tribe increase.

  5. seriously A, Vrinda is absolutely right

    “Today’s woman is enough independent to care of herself and her children (without a husband). It should not be anyone’s business to interfere; it her life at the end of day.”
    I loved this paragraph too 🙂

    keep blogging.. and keep writing this kind of stuff 🙂

    • Hey Meenakshi,

      Thanks for coming back.Also, thank you for supporting my views and ideas. I wonder if the last paragraph is becoming like THE LAST WORD ever said.

      Aditya Bhasin

  6. Pingback: 100th Post « I Speak-Aditya Bhasin www.adityabhasin.in

    • Hi Subhabrata,

      Thanks for you comment and appreciation. Also, you have mentioned a good example as Sushmita Sen, I think I shall add this to my post as-well.

      Keep coming back,
      Aditya Bhasin

  7. idea is gud no doubt… . when i read the heading i was xpecting that u ll talk abt how society is changing nt u defending or telling w8 one shuld do n seriously when you said that k ‘its there life at the end of the day’ i was like man… people r changing. whatevr i always say that its gud that u write…all d bst 4 ur furthr writing.

  8. This blog really talks abt the change. Change not only in society bt also in the perceptions, thoughts and orthodox beliefs of an individual.
    What I believe is that we don’t really need to work on entire society’s thinking bt on individual’s thinking.
    The best part of this blog is that the views u’ve represented in this blog are of a male.
    This is appreciable that a man thinks, realizes, writes, praise and supports the thought of a lady leading her life alone or being a single mother.

    • First thing first : The motive of this blog is proven as you said : “This blog really talks abt the change.” My idea was to strike this idea into my readers mind rather then putting my thought into their brains.

      My idea is same as your that we don’t need to work on entire society but oneself’s own thinking.

      Well, a lot of people have questioned me personally that,why do I write about women subject so often. My answer to them is always ‘is their a better subject then them’. I genuinely believe that women in our country are deprived of their rights to a greater extent and my idea is to give my part.

      Keep coming back,
      Aditya Bhasin

  9. nice topic. ur choice? even yesterday in my class it was our topic of debate. n i think that people r changing nw n ready to accept new idea or i should say they r actually accepting it wid open arms, n adi today’s woman is not weak, they knw hw to handle situation.

    • Hi Anonymous,

      Thanks for sharing your views on this space. About topic, well certainly it is my choice of topic and I support this idea strongly.

      I am not sure why did you write : “n adi today’s woman is not weak, they knw hw to handle situation.” Because it was no where I tried to say that woman today are week or any thing of that sought.

      Keep coming back,
      Aditya Bhasin

  10. Hey ADI,

    i appreciate that you really respect women and their views about not getting married.

    I like your this line also that :

    ” Today’s woman is enough independent to care of herself and her children (without a husband). It should not be anyone’s business to interfere; it her life at the end of day”

    And i agree with this too. We are really independent to make our life better day by day. But sometimes some people drag our ways towards so many difficulties to stop us flying like a free bird. But still we fights and make our self more strong to vanish them from our paths.

    Keep Blogging 🙂

    • Hey Vrinda thanks for dropping in. It’s good to know that woman out there are supporting my views.

      I also understand by what you said about people stopping you or say pushing you back at times. I am sure together we make a great place to live.

      Keep coming back and feel free to share this among other people.

      Love and Respect,
      Aditya Bhasin

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